thinkingME

Abilities turning to Weakness

myself — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 18:58:28 +0000

It amazes me to watch and see that abilities I had in the past have changed over time to my weaknesses.

Such as being very interested in what is going on and the wellbeing of others has turned into something disgusting as anxiety of doing things not right and worries about others.

And, the great ability to see and understand many different viewpoints without having to agree to them has turned to not having an own viewpoint.

Isn’t aging a great thing?

It would have me truly worried if I would not know that things can change (again) through auditing.

Another.

myself — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 19:12:06 +0000

Once again. Under the shower it hits me and I can’t let go. Another domain, another story. More dispersion, but all the same, I feel I want to do it. Write the story. Write those pictures. Not that I think I am on a mission and I definitely don’t expect anyone to follow it and to read it. I think I do not care. Of course I would LIKE to be somebody with something to say, but over the years I got the idea that this is not the case, not really.

But I think I do not care.

And it is alright.

And if not now, then at some point in the future.

Split.

myself — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 17:50:24 +0000

I am split. No longer whole. No longer just me. Where did the ‘myself’ go to? I do not know. Like a torn and shredded flag fluttering in the wind. Part here, part there but never home.

This country. That country. People dying all around me. Fighting and screaming, tears and hope. Beauty interwoven. Where did I go lost?

The spectator of this grand thing called live. Obviously I am still playing, am I not, I am still here. But why does it feel all so strange and not my skin?

Smiling here, smiling there while marveling at the dropping lines and growing shadows. Melancholy lingering just below.

It feels like fall.

It is ME who is allowing to turn dry and brittle, I do know that.

If only I could find the magic oil again.